'I have same condition as Vicky Pattison - it left me feeling like I was in a dark room'

For years, Ellisha Blake was baffled by her condition. Every fortnight leading up to her period, she experienced an overwhelming feeling of being trapped in a dark room alone.

"I struggled with extreme isolation, fear and emotional turmoil. Honestly it was terrifying," the 28 year old from London shared. "You feel like you don't want to be here, and you're scared you might do something you'll regret. It's not just mood swings. It's like a dark cloud takes over your whole world."

She endured severe emotional and physical symptoms that would last for two weeks each month. It wasn't until two years ago that her GP diagnosed her with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), a serious variant of premenstrual syndrome.

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This hormone-related mood disorder impacts millions, yet it is often overlooked and poorly understood. The disorder has gained more attention after TV star Vicky Pattison disclosed her own struggles with PMDD. Last month, ex-Geordie Shore celebrity Vicky, 37, opened up about a frightening incident where she felt out of control.

Ellisha, who juggles roles as an actor, theatre school manager, and content creator, said: "Before the diagnosis, it completely consumed me. I couldn't work, socialise or even go out in the weeks before my period. I didn't know what was wrong with me and it was debilitating.

"My friends couldn't understand why I didn't reply to texts or never wanted to see them and my boyfriend Dillon didn't know why I kept wanting to split up with him. And the pain can be extreme. It feels like dragging around rocks; you feel so heavy and as if you're carrying the world on your shoulders. My pelvic joints felt bruised and would ache constantly in my luteal phase.

"My body feels so sore and heavy that just getting up and making a cup of tea made me want to cry. I can sob like I'm mourning someone and the anxiety is crippling. And the suicidal thoughts; they're very real, and absolutely terrifying. It affects every part of your life."

Following years of battling the condition, a bold move on social media ultimately transformed her situation. With no one else in her circle experiencing this relatively common disorder, Ellisha began sharing her story online in 2023 to boost awareness.

"That changed everything. Within weeks, I'd met with Lina Chan, the director of women's health at Holland and Barrett. Then I was featured on Radio 1. It was mad," she reveals.

Operating under the handle Ellisha the PMDD girlie, she adopts an unflinching stance when discussing periods, hormones and mental wellbeing. With her diagnosis confirmed, Ellisha attempted to implement measures to ease her debilitating symptoms.

"I was originally offered antidepressants and the pill," she recounts. "But I'd had an awful experience with the pill, so I didn't want to go down that route again. I said 'yes' to the antidepressants, but I never actually picked them up. I just knew it would be masking something deeper."

Thus, she turned to supplements and after an online consultation via Holland and Barrett, she began using natural remedies: "Within a few months, my life changed. For the first time ever, I could actually live before my period. It was incredible. Unfortunately, my body did get used to them eventually and the symptoms came back after a few months, but they gave me a starting point."

She now endorses a specialist supplement brand named Evelyn: "They're focused entirely on PMDD and I honestly believe they're the first of their kind. I swear by them."

Ellisha's current strategy for managing her condition includes EMDR therapy, nervous system support, lifestyle adjustments, and improving communication with her loved ones: "I've really learned to communicate with the people around me – especially when I'm not in my luteal phase, the second half of my menstrual cycle - telling them what I need and how they can support me has been a real game-changer."

The toughest aspects of PMDD persist, she says: "I get really bad body dysmorphia during my luteal phase. I'll look in the mirror and think I'm ugly, overweight, disgusting. I don't want to leave the house, even though rationally I know that's not how I look. And then I shut down and isolate myself. My friends worry. They don't understand what's going on."

The condition has also taken a toll on her long-standing relationship. "Before I was diagnosed, me and my partner Dillon really struggled. He didn't understand why, for two weeks every month, I wanted to end the relationship, and then a week later I'd be bleeding and back to myself, saying 'I love you'. It was heart-wrenching," Ellisha shares.

"PMDD gaslights you. You forget you have it and you believe the intrusive thoughts. It's like a voice takes over," she further clarifies.

Ellisha has since emerged as a leading figure in raising awareness for PMDD in the UK and has been appointed the inaugural ambassador for The PMDD Project, the nation's premier charity dedicated to this disorder: "They're amazing. They're doing GP workshops, helping doctors learn how to spot and diagnose PMDD. And it's desperately needed – most people I know with PMDD were misdiagnosed for years. Bipolar, depression, anxiety. I even had a GP Google it in front of me once. She'd never heard of it.

"I get messages every day from people saying, 'You're the reason I got my diagnosis.' It's surreal. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a girl who went through hell and started talking about it online. But there are so many people out there who are undiagnosed and suffering."

She offers guidance to those battling the same condition. "There is light at the end of the tunnel. You will feel good again in your follicular phase - the first half of your cycle," she says.

"Communication is everything. Remember that you are not a burden. You've got something going on inside of you that's beyond your control, but remember it can be better. I used to want to end my life every single month. Today, I'm about to start my period and I'm living life. Two years ago that would be impossible."

She also has words for those living with someone with PMDD: "If you're living with someone with PMDD, never dismiss it. Sit with them. Listen. Don't tell them to just get out of bed or that it's just hormones. That two-week stretch every month feels like a dark cloud swallowing you whole. And when they come out the other side, remind them they're still loved. More needs to be done to raise awareness about this condition. I want it taught in schools.

"Teenagers message me saying they've just discovered what PMDD is from my page. That's not good enough. I want people to know what this is before it destroys their confidence, their education, and their relationships. I want the next generation to have a diagnosis process that's supported and kind. We deserve better. We deserve to be heard."