Here's how to eat a burger without looking like a toddler

Burgers are one of life’s greatest joys. But eating one without looking like it’s your first solid meal? That takes skill. Between runaway lettuce, sauce explosions, and collapsing buns, it’s all too easy to turn a tasty moment into a full-on mess. So, how do you enjoy a burger without dripping ketchup down your shirt or ending up with mustard on your chin? Simple: You learn the method. Here’s how to do it right.

Pick your burger smartly
Let’s start before the first bite. Some burgers are made for Instagram, not actual eating. You know the type: Three patties, a fried egg, onion rings, five sauces, and half the garden. Impressive to look at, impossible to handle.

If you want to eat like an adult, pick a burger that’s manageable. A good bun, fresh toppings, and a balanced size go a long way in preventing disaster.

The two-handed grip
This isn’t a snack, so you need both hands. The best way to hold a burger is with your thumbs and pinkies underneath and your other fingers across the top. This gives you full control, keeps the fillings in place, and supports the bun.

Grip it firmly, but don’t squish it. Think “secure hug,” not “death grip.”

Flip the bun trick
Here’s something that works but feels totally wrong: turn your burger upside down. Seriously. The top bun is usually thicker and sturdier, so flipping it helps absorb juices without falling apart. It’s a little strange at first, but it helps keep the structure intact. You’ll thank yourself when the tomato doesn’t slide out onto your lap.

Bite like you mean it
Tentative bites are a recipe for disaster. Take full, confident bites that cut through all the layers. When you only bite halfway, you end up dragging out the fillings. That’s how you end up with a patty in one hand and the bun in the other.

Aim for a clean bite through the bun, meat, toppings, and condiments all in one go.

Keep napkins close
Let’s be real. Even the cleanest burger eater will need a napkin. Don’t wait until your hands are dripping, keep a few nearby and use them as needed. Dab gently instead of wiping aggressively. Bonus move: Wrap the bottom half of your burger in a napkin or wax paper to catch the drips. It’s not cheating. It’s smart.

Watch the sauce
We get it, sauce is the flavor-maker. But too much, and you’ve got a slippery mess. Whether you’re building your own or ordering out, go easy. Spread it evenly and avoid letting it pool in one spot. This helps your burger hold together and avoids the dreaded “sauce squeeze” mid-bite.

Know when to pause
If your burger starts falling apart, take a second. Don’t keep eating like nothing’s happening. Shift the bun, tuck in a runaway pickle, and press the fillings back in place. Better to fix it now than end up licking relish off your elbow later.

Eating a burger like a grown-up doesn’t mean being boring; it just means keeping things in control. Hold it right, flip the bun if needed, and commit to your bites. Stay alert, keep napkins handy, and embrace the mess, just not all over your face.

Because the only thing better than a good burger is not having to change your shirt afterward.